Thursday, April 14, 2011

Baby Cameron's Story

In life we all have our problems and our struggles. Some small that seem so big at the time and some so large some days it is hard to get out of bed and we wonder how we are going to get through it. I recently had one of those moments. Everything seemed like it was just stacking on my shoulders and I just broke. In that moment I called one of my best friends Courtney. I have known her since middle school. We have been through so many things in our life. Some good, some not so good. We have gone days talking to each other every day to at one point not talking for years. As I was talking to her threw all the tears I said to her. . . You know, it could always be worse. There are so many people out in the world that have bigger problems in their life then I do. And at that point I felt really selfish! I am sitting here on the phone crying to my best friend about my problems and not even seeing that she has so much more on her shoulders then I ever will. So for that I am sorry, and I feel I need to share her story. If anyone needs prayer in their life and some kind of miracle it is my friend Courtney and her son Cameron.

Here is her story. . .

Courtney got pregnant last year with her 3rd baby. In all of her pregnancies she has had problems. This was the worse. She was only 6 weeks along and she had already been to the hospital more then once. She also managed to move to Texas for 5 months and then moved back to Reno. Not even being back in Reno 2 hours she was checked into the hospital. She was later released, and stayed home on bed rest for a few weeks. She was 25 weeks and 4 day along (about 6 months) and ended up back in the hospital. She had to have an emergency C-section. At 4:04am on October 6, 2010 Cameron James Damon Boswell was born only weighing 1 lb 5 oz. Cameron was born with lots of complication. He was born 15 weeks early. Right away he had problems with his heart, and his lungs were not developed. Courtney had to wait a long 9 weeks before she could even hold him in her arms.

Cameron is now 6 months old and weighs 14 lbs 4 oz . In six month this little boy has had many surgeries. Including a heart surgery, hernia surgery, and a trach put in to help get him off the vent, to only name a few. He has gone through so much fighting for his life every day. He has come so far in his short 6 month of life, but not far enough.

Everyday she is able to get out of bed. She get her kids off to school and then goes to the hospital. She spends most of the day just holding Cameron, breathing him in, talking to him and praying for him to keep up his fight. Then she goes home, spends time with Dylan, and Kaylee. Gets them off to bed, and goes back to the hospital. Every time she has to leave Cameron she struggles with it. The thought of something going wrong, the thought that she will not be able to get there in time to hold his hand, or just the thought that he is there alone. So most nights she does not even sleep more then a few hours in fear that the phone may ring and she will not hear it.

Courtney manages to care for and split her time between Cameron in the hospital, but also for her two other children at home, Dylan 13 and Kaylee 6. She is often torn between not spending enough time with Dylan and Kaylee but also not being able to hold Cameron's hand when he has his bad days, which are more often then good ones. Two weeks ago Courtney got a call from the Lung Specialist and was told, over the phone, that there was not anything more they were able to do for Cameron. They set up an time to talk with her and give her some options on how she was to let Cameron die. Cameron has had many struggles. His biggest is his lungs. He is not responding to steroids, and is not able to breath on his own. He needs new lungs, but the doctors say that he can not get new lungs because he is to sick.

Despite all the negative things that Courtney has been faced with she manages to keep it together and stay very positive. She is apart of a few support groups including What to expect when you are expecting, and Care bridge. She takes time to read everything that people write to her and responds to them. She updates her face book all the time to let everyone know how Cameron is doing. She has called and written other hospitals to get just another opinion or option for Cameron. She has not had any success. How could any mother be asked to choose how they would like their son to die??

Cameron has been here for 6 months and already he has touched so many hearts and lives.

There are so many times I don't even know what to say to Courtney and I have to hold back the tears. I can not even begin to imagine what she is going through. You may ask why am I sharing her story?? I admire her! For her strength, her ability to stay positive, her courage, and for her ability to stay strong and not give up! She is such a great person, a great friend, and a great mother! I pray that Cameron will prove the doctors wrong, get better, and Courtney will be able to take him home and he will live a long health life.

So. . . I am asking you, all my friends, just to say a prayer. Please pray for Courtney, her family, and for Cameron. He is a fighter and we are not giving up on him!

If you have any question about Cameron you can email Courtney at or you can follow her posts on her face book (Courtney McClure), What to expect when you are expecting, or Care bridge.

Baby Cameron passed away today at 9:22pm Please pray! He became apart of me. Miss you baby Cameron. Enjoy your angel wings! Love you baby boy!

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Its all up to me now.....

Well..still nothing from Nate..Figures. Today i meet with the Pastor alone since he wont "Commit" he says he obviously is committed because he is still with me but he wont say it because i make him mad...HOW OLD ARE YOU!! So the meeting today is to discuss what i need to do as the wife..I miss youth group also..I want to know what i have to do to get back in!

He goes to this CTL class on Tuesday nights and its all for men, well last night the wives were invited to come and see what they do and to learn we went to that. I got ONE thing out of it..I cant change him. I can only change myself and pray for God to work on him and change him..So thats my plan. The hardest part is respecting him and biting my tounge when i am mad and wanna fight with him. when i do that i feel like he is walking all over me. BUT we will try it.

Also at home group on Sunday night i was talking to Kieth and Jackie (they are the ones that he stayed with when my dad came.) He offered to meet with Nate and i instead of the pastor..So i asked Nate if he wanted to do that, He said he would RATHER do we will see where that goes also.

Ella is still doing good on the potty! I am excited she has had no accidents! But I am still confused about what to do when we leave the house. she doesn't tell me I have to potty, She just idk. I still have a lot to do with her!

Thanks for reading :) Hope all is well
God Bless (:

Wednesday, April 6, 2011


Sorry I am slow at this blog thing..Its hard to do anything with two kidos! anyways..So on my birthday Nate didn't get me anything. He told me to get a babysitter for Thursday the 31st so we could go to a movie..It turned into an argument because i didn't see the need to take asher to a baby sitter for a movie hes still too little.. Wednesday i went shopping with a friend and got some new outfits! then Thursday came and i decided that i would rather go get some more clothes then waste 30 bucks on the Ella was sick so i didn't want to leave her with anyone. So thats what we did..but guess who ended up buying more then i bought....HE DID!! I almost forgot whos birthday it was :( He still has not done the homework the pastor gave us.. so I am going to talk to my pastor on what my next move is...although I will say i can tell he is trying, he will tell me he loves me before he leave the house now..when before he never would! but he is still being rude and inconsiderate..he talks crap about my house being messy, which it is NOT. but then he has the nerve to leave dishes all around and i pick them up because then ella gets to them! ugh! I am annoyed with that kind of stuff...asher and i were taking a nap on the bed this afternoon. he said he wasnt going to bed for awhile..well he decided he wanted to go in and jump on the bed and go to sleep..well hes all talking to me to move and get off the blankets so he can sleep..he totally woke me up..but if i wake him up..its Game over he is a dick the rest of the day! ugh I am still trying to get some patients! and pray to God for the strength to love on him even when he is totally unlovable!
on a happier note..Get ready for it......................................
ELLA DECIDED SHE WAS GOING TO GO ON HER POTTY!! Its been three days now and she has only worn a diaper for bed time!! and had a total of like 6 accidents in 3 days! not bad if you ask me! I am so happy! One less stress on my end. Nates sister got me this 365 day devotional book! I love it! its a short reading and it gets me into Gods word which i need so bad but have horrible pray for me to continue with it!! well i better get off here now..thanks for reading :) and thanks for the b day wishes! if you guys know of anyone who would also be interested in reading my blog pass it on :) I want other people/Christians to know they are not alone!!