The Husband...(Nate)

Well..where to begin..I met Nate a few months after a really bad break up.. i was 16, and staying with a family i used to babysit for..I had no rules. I came and went as I pleased there.. I had a best friend names Alex..a few of her friends I was not close to I think were going to the same church nate had been attending.. I got a call from Alex one day when i was on my lunch break at work and she was like hey me and a few guys are gonna go eat and see a movie..I will be the only girl..do you wanna go?? I said sure..In my head i was like no more boyfriends nothing I CANT DO THIS AGAIN!! I got off work a little late so i was in a rush to go home and get ready..so i was like well i am not gonna even shower or anything. I am not trying to impress anyone.. anyways there was three guys..Nate, Ben, and Lo. And then me and alex..we went to chilies and to see a movie..it was Fantastic Four Rise of the Silver Surfer or something like that.. after the movie it was like 12 so we went to dennys. While we were there i was sitting next to nate just kinda chatting not even flirting I SWEAR! Anyways I ended up paying for what he got because the stupid watress put us on the same ticket and then couldnt figure out how to separate them so i just was like whatever ill pay..Thats when it allll Began...UPS and DOWNS..ALL the Time..I was he was 20..I was insecure and jealous..so we fought all the time..He told me he loved me after two weeks of dating and i was vulnerable and said it back..I think i meant it too..because when he took it back because he said it when he wasnt sure he meant it..You dont do that to a girl! ugh i was devastated and stopped talking to him. After a few days he showed up at the house i was staying at and said he was sorry and stuff..not all sure what was said but i ended up going back to his dorm and sleeping with him for the first time..then our relationship was consumed with going to the movies and having sex and going out to eat lol.. we said we loved eachother but we ALWAYS would fight. a few months went by and i was back into my house and still seeing nate.. but he asked me to go to church with him..he said it was important to him and if we were ever going to have a future he needed me to go to and learn and hear about the Gospel so I agreed.. a few more months went by and my mom gave me the news that my step dad was retiring and we would be moving in a few months.. i was like no way. you are not taking me away from him..I am 100% in love..I meant it for real at this point. So I asked if i found a family to stay with could i stay behind and finish school..I didnt want to switch schools my junior year either.. So a family from my church took me in..at the time it was the worst thing I EVER did because they were strict and didnt let me do hardly anything i was used to..Nate being a grown man on his own didnt like that i couldnt do the things he was used to..we started fight ALOT because i wasnt gonna go against their rules..so he broke up with me and came to get his stuff..well then he asked me to take a drive with him and talk..so i did. we went to block buster to return a movie..and while we were out i asked him if we were gonna talk and he said no..he just wanted someone to go with him and we were DONE..so i cried and cried and cried..he told me on the way back to shut up and he hated me and i was the worst GF ever..since he told me about the girl friends before and stuff that HURT..I punched him in the face while driving down the free way..we got off the freeway and he pulled over and got out of the car and ripped me out of the car and he grabbed my arms and squeezed them and just held me there. Then we both cried and felt bad he said sorry i said sorry it was so emotional..he said that he didnt want to break up so we didnt..then when we got back on base he was like come over to my place and i told him no i couldbt because i had other plans with Jess and Cher..the family i was with, he again freaked out and told me he hated me ..so i tried to talk to him and he was just like no no no i am done done done..so when we pulled up to the house he told me he just wanted sex from me..i again punched him in the chest this time and my finger nail got caught on his zipper of his coat and ripped my nail and it was bleeding everywhere.. we got out of the car again and he started screaming at me that i was crazy to never talk to him again or he would call the cops on me.. he ended up texting me that night saying he was sorry and such again..I told him i didnt want to break up i loved him and i was sorry..he said he was sorry too. I went to his dorm instead of school the next day to talk.. we both decided i was moving back into my moms house because these other people were CRAZY! so i moved back in and then two days later i find out that nate and i had a no contact order put on us..Cher told his boss that he beat me and left bruises on me..she tool pictures of my arms where he grabbed me..so that was the end of FEB so they put it on us till July 1st 2008. so 5 months..we ended up sneaking around a lot behind the AF in hotels and stuff..(My mom was letting me) well then on the weekend of my birthday he took me to the hot springs resort and proposed to me..with my moms permission. I said yes and then we set the date for the day the no contact order was up! So in april I went to the dr for a UTI and came back telling my mom i was pregnant..I told nate and he was excited. I was too because we were already getting married. My mom signed the papers for us already. a month later i went to anchorage with teresa because my mom and i were fighting and i was stressed and worried about the babies health. a few weeks after that nate called one day to tell me they kicked him out of the AF..so i went back to my moms to pack my stuff and his stuff..we took a uhaul to teresas and stayed there for a month putting our stuff in storage while we went to Vegas to get married (that was the only place where the parents didnt have to be present, and i only needed one signature from my gardian instead of both..my dad said no way) so we went to vegas got married on the first like planned then when to nates moms in CA for two weeks..When we were there they convinced nate to move back..so we went back to AK got some of our stuff and drove from AK to CA..I didnt want to leave my family i fought nate on it for two weeks before we left but i gave in because he was my hubby...We went to cali..we were there for a few weeks and he got a temp job then he got a call about a real job..it was great he got insurance paid for us.. So we moved into our own apartment in october..things were going okay.but we still needed help with money because our rent was 1100.00 a month!! ugh we had little Ella in December.. things were awesome..i was so happy to be a mommy :) I was still going to school for awhile too. they even let me take her with me. in Jan nate was laid off after his 3 month probation period was up..we were screwed..I took ella to AK to meet my family the end of Jan so he could focus on looking for work.. While i was there he found a job. I was only there for a week. when i got home we moved out of the apartment into a two bedroom with a friend with a daughter also so we could have cheaper rent and more room. She left us high and dry tho one weekend so we were stuck with a 1600.00 rent. he went through 3 more jobs and we went through different roommates..some good and some bad...During all this time we would go to church when we needed help then we would get help and stop going..then some thing else would come up and it started all over again..we went and there was no real meaning to it for me anyways..right after ella turned one nate was going through not having a job..he just gave up looking and started smoking pot...it killed me. I hated it i have never smoked ANYTHING in my life..and he wouldnt stop..so I told his mom. I had no other choice. she threatened to tell his dad..his dad is an amazing guy and he would be so ashamed of nate if he ever found out. so he stopped and we started to go to church for real this time. for the first time i committed my life to Jesus and that was the most Awesome thing i have ever done EVER. in Feb i took ella too Idaho to meet my mom..I decided not to leave because nate wasnt finding work and we had just gotten our taxes.. so he agreed to move here. I found an apartment, and he drove here. when he got here in march we found a church right down the street and kept attending.. he got a job at the end of march at walmart and has been there since.. It has been almost one year. Like i said now we are debt free and have a new little boy. Things are getting 100% better with us as a whole.. we still fight and argue but we have help now from God and Great people from the church walking beside us.. :)